Join me on my copyediting journey through a health article assigned to me by a client in the healthcare space.
In healthcare, editing and proofreading are generally viewed as being more important than in other industries. That’s easy to understand when you think of all the potential problems a misplaced comma or misquoted study could cause to patients.
Quality control, in general, is of paramount importance in healthcare content. Qualified medical reviewers are nearly always hired to verify the information provided by writers who, with some exceptions, tend not to have medical qualifications. Editors like me are then employed to review the quality of the writing and ensure there are no spelling, grammar or punctuation errors.
So, that’s what I’m going to do today: edit and proofread a medical article.
Let’s get into it!
A little less confusion, a little more information, please
The original
How to manage cold sores in pregnancy?
Managing cold sores during pregnancy involves a combination of self-care practices and medical guidance. Your doctor may prescribe a course of antiviral medication if you have a cold sore when you’re pregnant as their safety is not clearly established in the first trimester.
My edit
How to manage cold sores during pregnancy
Managing cold sores during pregnancy involves a combination of self-care practices and medical guidance.
Your doctor may prescribe a course of antiviral medication, but its safety is not clearly established during the first trimester. Your doctor will decide on the best treatment for you.
My thoughts
- “That’s not a question.” I immediately noticed that the writer thought they had asked a question in the heading when they hadn’t. You wouldn’t believe how often writers stick a question mark at the end of a sentence that contains a word like how when, grammatically, they haven’t actually asked a question.
- “The reader is likely a pregnant person with a cold sore, so why do we keep repeating this information?” We already know the target audience: pregnant people with cold sores. We can assume that our reader isn’t an older gentleman looking for advice on haemorrhoids. There’s little point in saying IF you have a cold sore when you’re pregnant.
- “Why would a doctor prescribe a medication because its safety is unestablished?” Oh dear. This one’s on the writer and medical reviewer.
With this section of text, I encountered a mix of problems: grammar, clarity and accuracy.
Medical reviewers bring phenomenal and vital value to this process. They are indispensable. However, they are also human. I’ve seen many medical articles like this one that have been signed off by a qualified doctor with factual errors (some major). It’s always worth asking a copyeditor, who is used to reviewing text with an eagle-eyed approach, to sense-check the content again.
You might be wondering why I broke down such a small section of text into two separate paragraphs. That’s simply the client’s preference. This is what they say in their style guide: To help mobile readers and reduce eye strain avoid lengthy paragraphs. Add too many line breaks (spaces) instead of not enough.
It’s a matter of style
The original
What if I have cold sores while breastfeeding?
If you have a cold sore outbreak and you are breastfeeding, it’s essential to take precautions to avoid transmitting the virus to your baby. The herpes simplex virus is not transmitted through breast milk. However, it can be transmitted through direct contact with a cold sore or herpes lesion. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), mothers who have HSV but do not have active lesions on or near the breasts may continue to breastfeed as normal. If you do have an active outbreak on the skin around your breast, stop breastfeeding until your outbreak has cleared.
My edit
Is it safe to breastfeed during a cold sore outbreak?
Take precautions to avoid transmitting the virus to your baby if you have a cold sore outbreak while breastfeeding.
HSV is not transmitted through breast milk, but it can be transmitted through direct contact with a cold sore or herpes lesion.
You can continue breastfeeding as normal if you have HSV but don’t have active lesions on or near your breasts.1 If you have an active outbreak on the skin around your breast, stop breastfeeding until it clears.
My thoughts
- “Let’s start with a question that’s actually helpful.” I edited the heading to make it more direct and informational. Is it safe… is a simple yes or no question. What if… is so vague. My edit helps the reader get to the answers they need quickly.
- “I need to reorganise that sentence to make it more active.” The client is really clear on avoiding most instances of passive voice and clunky sentence structures. This enables patients to access the information they need quickly. I edited the sentence If you have a cold sore outbreak and you are breastfeeding, it’s essential to… to Take precautions to avoid transmitting the virus to your baby if you have… In my version, the instruction (the important part) comes first.
- “There’s some formal, third-person narration. Let’s change it to second-person narration to match the client’s style guide.” The client’s style guide says: Use second-person narration to address the reader directly. For example, you, you’ve, yours. Why is the writer talking about mothers when they could just be talking about you? The tone is also too formal.
- “Hyperlink changed to a footnote – tick!” My client publishes articles with footnotes – not hyperlinks. It’s my job as the editor to fix the referencing.
This section of text was actually okay. There were no mistakes – just clunky writing. One of my processes is to remove clunky sentence structures by flipping them around to avoid too many if constructions (If you have this, do this). This is primarily because, in the healthcare field, we want patients to access important information as soon as possible.
The other processes I carried out in this part of my edit were adding line breaks and ensuring the text followed the client’s style guide.
Watch your tone
The original
The Lowdown
Managing cold sores during pregnancy requires proactive measures, proper medical guidance, and vigilant hygiene practices. By following recommended precautions, seeking timely medical care, and promoting awareness among family members and caregivers, you can reduce the risk of transmission and ensure the well-being of your baby. Remember, your healthcare provider is your best resource for personalized advice and support throughout this journey. Stay informed, stay proactive, and prioritize your health and the health of your little one.
My edit
The lowdown
Managing cold sores during pregnancy requires proactive measures, proper medical guidance, and vigilant hygiene practices.
By following recommended precautions, seeking timely medical care, and promoting awareness among family members and caregivers, you can reduce the risk of transmission and keep your baby safe.
Remember, your doctor is your best resource for personalized advice and support during pregnancy. Stay informed, stay proactive, and prioritize the health of you and your baby.
What was I thinking?
- “The client wants sentence case headings, but I spot a capital L.” This writer generally followed the client’s style guide throughout the article, but they left one instance of title case capitalisation that should have been sentence case.
- “Let’s remove the clunky language and make it more natural-sounding.” Ensure the well-being of your baby is very clunky and far too formal. With just a simple edit, keep your baby safe, the clause becomes active, friendly and straightforward.
- “‘Little one’, ‘journey’ – let’s stick to straightforward language.” The writer shouldn’t be using fluffy language if there’s a simpler way to say something. Just a minute ago, they were writing like a scientific journal, and now they’re coming off sickly sweet. As a copyeditor, it’s my job to strike the right balance and keep the tone consistent (and in alignment with the client’s style guidelines).
As you can see, even professional copywriters don’t always stick to style guidelines. Admittedly, clients differ in that some might demand more diligence from their copywriters while others let things slide. This particular article came from a content mill that tends to churn out lower-quality writing.
In this part of my edit, I also came across a bizarre tone of voice. Hiring different copywriters usually results in articles with many different voices and tones. It’s an editor’s job to align the tone in every article to ensure readers are getting a consistent experience across the brand.
Find out more about what I offer
I’m an experienced and meticulous health copyeditor, and I really dedicate myself to offering my clients perfection, which is crucial in this space. You can rely on me to deliver flawless texts that are accessible, warm and straightforward.
If you’re unsure about which service you and your writing need, get in touch. Once I have seen a sample of your text, I’ll be able to give you a no-obligation, bespoke quote.